#thank you for indulging me anon i am so obsessed with this concept

[senseichaos]

Hey, same anon asking about yandere stuff. I'm so glad to hear!! Of course if you want to, may I please request yandere Vox with the reader? Like how they try to run from him? Perfectly fine with it being a female reader as I am one. And I don't mind how you write it. Do whatever you please! I love seeing others' interpretation of the characters 🖤 No rush!

YOU CAN'T RUN. HELL, YOU CAN'T HIDE EITHER.

thank you lovely anon! I love the concept of Yandere Vox! Hope this is good :) let me know your thoughts in another ask if you'd like! Lots of love!

Summary: Vox doesn't often fall in love often, no. Well that was until you came around- and you wanted a job with Valentino of all people? No. That would never fly with him. He'd make you work with him instead, like an intern or something? Hell, anything to make you stay near him. Anything to get him as close to you as possible.

Genres: Angst with a small amount of sexuality

NOT PROOF READ (yet)

Warnings/Tags: Yandere Vox, Insecurity, Reader is naive, manipulation, mind control, exploitation, creepy behavior, masking, contractual agreements, reader lacks hell experience, Vox is violent, Vox lacks empathy, angst, swearing, overall kinda depressing (LET ME KNOW IF MISSING ANY)

Pt 2

_______

You can't believe your eyes when you step into that tower, the pink glass adorning the outsides making your eyes shimmer. You have a job interview with Valentino today, after waiting for (probably too long) to get a job somewhere.

You see, hell worked slightly differently to earth. Where things in earth worked in a more of a 'work and make work' sort of way, Hell is more 'work, make work, and fight'

You'd managed for the past months to live in a small apartment that happened to be owned by someone who got killed in an extermination. It wasn't your plan to impersonate a sinner and squat in their home, but you have to get by somehow, right?

Well- it also wasn't your plan to be a porn star. But no where else seemed to want to take you. You're small, too weak to be taken by anyone else. People on the street told you that you were made for the screen, that your body was perfect. Some even tried to pay you copious amounts of cash just for you to suck them off. And you hate it.

At least the elevator of the building is cozy.

Vox on the other hand was having the best day of his life: or in his definition, a day where Valentino doesn't have a stupid breakdown that Vox doesn't have to solve.

He loves to watch his people as they indulge in his technology, he loves to watch everyone become obsessed with him and his media, he loves to be in control of all of these people. He'll watch every screen around him with focus, taking in their reactions as he bottle feeds them content.

Could he be with his boyfriend, Val? Yes. Does he want to? Hell no. He doesn't love Val. Plain and simple in his eyes. He has Valentino to get his business along. To make him more powerful. He'll do what he has to to be the most powerful he can be. Even if it means toying with people around him.

Val doesn't think he's capable of falling in love with anyone in this horrible underworld he inhabits. Everyone here is fucked. he is fucked. Plus, he doesn't know anyone here who he'd connect with anyway.

Or well that's what he did think until right now. There is a girl in the central elevator that looks awfully out of place, causing Vox to turn the entirety of his attention onto her. She looks like a regular old sinner, yes- but still she stands it like a sore thumb against the few people also in the central elevator. Where everyone's boring physique was her own enticing one stands. Where everyone else's two tone personalities stand her own colorful and bright one shimmer in his 2-D irises.

And then comes that odd feeling in his chest, this weird bubbling feeling of emotions that causes his eyes to tear up ever so slightly. This feeling, it's addicting. He wants to grind her up into a smoothie and drink her up, making the feeling sit there forever.

Something is wrong with him: he thinks.

With bated breath vox looked at the floor the elevator was approaching, figuring out where the girl is exactly going. There are only few reasons a sinner shows up at V tower anyway: to get a job with Valentino, or to turn yourself in if you'd wronged them. The elevator number reads '10'. She's going up to the business floor where Valentino currently is.

A sudden twist finds its way into his stomach, a horrible twist that makes his head burn with anger. Who does Val think he is? Having a girl such as her working for him. He. Couldn't let this happen, no no no no no no no. Why would he even want to exploit such a girl? She's supposed to be loves and cherished for everything she is.

The only reason she'd want to work with Val is because she has no other thing to do. He needs to offer her a job- or something to keep her from giving herself away to Valentino. Something to keep her as close to him as possible- like an intern or an assistant or anything.

Anything: Vox thinks.

Not often is Vox so reckless, not often at all. He likes to think he's decorum and well-adjusted. Likes to think he's a figure of this time. Of his time.

But right now, all he wants is this beautiful fucking girl to look at him in his eyes. Is it selfish? To want something so bad you feel like you could to horrible things to get it? Probably. But this is hell. And as an overlord of hell he can take what he wants. For once he doesn't care.

--- 666 ---

You take a step from the elevator, looking around the rather nauseating long and rounded hallway with squinted eyes. You can barely remember where you're supposed to be going anymore. You're supposed to meet Val inside one of these many, many studios. But soon enough as you start to venture through the halls on light, unsure steps you find yourself unable to read the words and numbers on each door.

Something is wrong, and you're unable to focus. There's this buzzing sound in your ears, a very faint but obvious buzzing that's causing your brain to go fuzzy. You can't feel your body anymore, it's just walking down the hallway in painful circles.

Suddenly that tether in your brain snaps with a loud crack, and your face to face with a television. You're still standing, in this long hallway, but now you're looking into the dark eyes of a TV screen. Wait- Eyes?

"Oh, Hello there sinner, are you looking for Valentino?" He asks, voice weirdly distant yet close all at the same time. His smile is large, almost devilish looking as he stares down at you.

You feel on edge, and your head still has a very faint buzzing lining itself.

"Oh, erm, Yeah.. I can't seem to recall what room-" You flinch as he hooks an arm around your neck walking you down the hallway once again with a smirk. There's a weird edge to him that you can't pin down, this whole interaction almost seems.. forced? Oh, there you go again, putting labels on things. Stop overthinking!

"Don't worry your pretty head about it! I'll take you to him," he says, unhooking his arm from your shoulder; only for him to rather sensually drag his hand across your shoulder blades until it's claws barely rest against your shoulder.

"But you know," Vox begins, swinging himself around so he stands in front of you, hands resting on either of your shoulders. You have to stop yourself from bumping into his chest. "You don't have to work for him." He says, his voice turning slightly more TV like and distant as he speaks.

"What do you mean..?" You ask, pushing his hand off of your shoulder with a painful twist of butterflies. A type of butterflies that you can't understand.

"Well, you seem like the type of gal to enjoy.." he looks you up and down, moving his hands from your shoulders as he grins. "Taking orders," you tilt your head at his words, confused. He shakes his head to himself, looking away for a moment with a slight frown before staring back, smiling brightly.

"No, I mean that you could be my assistant! You can.." He thinks for a moment, tapping the bottom of his screen as if it were his chin. He shrugs, smiling awkwardly with furrowed brows. "Bring me drinks and such! C'mon.."

He leans down to your level again, looking into your eyes. You suddenly feel that wave of disorientation go through you again, the only thing seeming to make sense to you being.. Vox.

"You don't want to be exploited by him, do you?" He says, and you feel his screen radiating heat on your skin. The buzzing becomes more loud as he goes on, all you seem to be able to hear being his words as they drip from his vile tongue. "C'mon dear, He'll break you."

"And you don't want to be broken, Right?"

He is right. You don't want to be broken by Valentino. You don't want to be exploited. But you don't have any other choice-

Until now, that is. You have an opportunity.

You should take it, right?

The headache and buzzing dissipate, taking a chunk of your psyche along with it. You feel your feet begin to give out beneath you from the exertion, lacking balance as you wobble softly. Not wanting to faceplant into the carpet, you reach out to something, anything to hold you. It just so happens to be Vox's chest, grasping onto the fabric of his coat as you begin to slip down to the floor.

"Hey, Hey, it's okay, What's got you out of sorts?" He asks, grasping you by your waist as he lifts you back to your feet. You blink, looking around for a moment with a nervous breath. Those butterflies, again. You hate them.

"I- uh.. I dunno.." You say stutter, pushing yourself away and scratching that back of your neck.

"You're feeling better?" Vox says, dipping his lids as he tilts his head rather attractively.

You nod, looking down at the ground with a nervousness inside of you.

"Good, good.." he turns away, looking at the ground and pacing for a short amount of time "good.." he says softly to himself, turning back around and clasping his hands together as he grins.

"Now how about you follow me and we can get you set up, yeah?" He says, pressing his hand against the space between your shoulder blades as he turns back to the elevator. You look up at him, and for a moment he seems to be in his own world. At least he is until you speak.

"So what's your name, Mister?" You ask, fiddling your fingers against each other nervously. He grins, lids upturning with the smile as well. He leans down again, poking a blue claw on your cheek as buzzing blurs your brain.

"It's Vox, my dear," He says, and your brain goes soft and mushy with an emotion you cannot describe. It feels as though he's making you melt.

"Keep that in your head for me, will you princess?" He asks softly, pulling his claw up the side of your face with a manic grin.

With a sudden movement he pulls away, shrugging his hands.

"Now darling, let's get back to it, shall we?"

Something is off, and part of you wants more of it.

--- 666 ---

Mister Vox's office is large in size, walls lined with screens displaying different things across the entirety of the pride ring. You wonder what Vox may do here all day, seeing the singular seat between it all that doesn't even seem that cozy.

You assume he watches, broadcasts, does meeting, and.. does what he's doing right now, perhaps?

"What do you do all day, Mister Vox?" You ask, looking wide-eyed at the television lined walls of the area. He flinches, grinning awkwardly before bringing back his confident demeanor.

"Me? Oh, you know.. this and that- I go to meetings.. I sign paperwork, I go to meetings.." He laughs to himself, shaking his hand dismissively as he sits in his seat, spreading his legs in a man spread. You turn away from the screens, looking over at Vox as he scans the monitors with narrowed eyes. You wonder if he was doing something important before he found you.

"Uh, Mister Vox, what do I do now..?" You ask, taking a small step towards him. He tilts his head towards you, smiling as he swings his chair to face you completely.

"oh, you? You can just sit there and look pretty.." Vox looks you up and down with narrowed eyes, face blank for a long moment before bringing a small smirk onto his face. He leans back in his chair, clicking his fingers as a bundle of clothing finds it's way into your hands.

"Perhaps prettier, change into that for me will you dearest?" He says, leaning his head on his fist as his voice becomes slightly more distant. You look at him, confused as you clutch the blue and red clothing to your chest.

"Okay.. Where do I change, Mister Vox?" You say, fiddling with the collar of your shirt as your body feels hot. Vox rolls his eyes playfully, pointing a clawed finger to the floor as he shifts his chair back to the screen. "Just change here my dear, no one will see you," He says, looking at you with a side glance. It's almost condescending, in a way.

"right here? But-"

"Here is fine, dear. Hell, here is more safe to change than anywhere else in this building," He laughs. You get this off feeling like you should trust him. I mean, he's one of the people owning this building anyway, right? He would be the one knowing a lot about it rather than anyone else. you should trust him.

"Okay Mister Vox."

You can't see his grin.

Every piece of clothing you peek off feels like this weird symbolism for losing yourself. Off comes your shirt: a piece is lost. Off comes your shorts: a piece of you is lost. And then more clothes come onto you, building something new. On comes a skirt: a piece of you is molded. On comes a blouse: a piece of you is molded.

And then there's this watch, a mobile one with 'Vox Tech' plastered across the side. With a shrug you put it on, struggling with getting it to tightness but ultimately managing to win the battle with the finicky strap.

"Good, good, how great you look!" He says, outstretching his hands with a grin.

You feel yourself blush, one half of you from his compliment and the other half from the fact he's looking completely in your direction. Does that mean he was watching you the whole time?

"Actually my dear, do you think you can grab me a coffee?" He asks, clicking his hands as a streak of blue energy shoots inside of the watch; this causes a mao to appear on the screen, showing where you are currently. "That map should tell you where to go, the assistant there should give you the coffee the way I like it,"

You shouldn't ask it, but you feel your bones ache too.

"How do you like it?"

He grins, tilting his head.

"Sweet with a strong flavour," He states, waving you off.

--- 666 ---

The first week as Vox's Assistant goes by smoothly, or as smoothly as it could working with an Overlord of hell. A rather odd seeming one at that.

Everything feels on edge with Vox, you feel like at any moment he could do something drastic. You've no idea what said drastic thing could be either, which makes it a whole lot more anxiety inducing. Hell, Vox is attractive. That's probably why you're on edge. That's what you keep telling yourself anyway. You're probably in love with him or something.

Vox had even given you housing as close to the building as possible, insisting he pay the rent. Not that you complain, no; less walking for you it seems. The Vox Tech watch he gave you tells you pretty much everything that you need to do. When you wake up in the morning it goes off, alerting you like an alarm, it has a to do list that blares when you're in the office, it maps out the whole space, it even acts as Vox's messaging system towards you.

You do wonder how he controls it, even in the comfort of your own home. Well, he is an overlord, right? He's capable of things even outside of your grasp. You cannot even fathom what he could do with that power.

And that's just the way Vox likes it.

Actually, you haven't seen Valentino around the building the whole week either. Even in a meeting you accompanied Vox to. You'd expect to see him more often with all the prowling in and out of the building you do.

It's as if he's vanished.

"Princess, grab me a coffee will you? Maybe even grab one for yourself while you're at it, on the house," Vox asks, swiveling on his chair to face your own, which sits just off to the side of his own with a small desk in front of it. You'd been doing some paperwork for him for the past hour, mostly reading through stuff, asking him questions, and singing them for him.

"Yeah, sure.. um, I was just wondering.." You utter softly, causing Vox to raise a brow as he leans back on his chair with a confident grin. He tilts his head in question, saying: "What's on your mind, (N/N)?"

"I haven't seen Valentino around the building, I was just wondering if something's up with him?" You ask, looking down at the ground as you begin to regret yourself even questioning. Vox laughs, flapping his hand in dismissal.

"Oh, just that? Don't worry about it! He's just.." Vox pauses for a moment, shrugging his shoulders. "Doing his own thing," He finishes, smiling rather oddly as he begins moving his chair back to face his computers. You intercept.

"His own thing..?"

Vox turns back to you, grinning widely with a manic look in his 2-D eyes. Once again, the buzzing fills your brain. And you fall to your knees against the ground with a painful 'thump'. Vox harshly grips your chin, pulling you closer to him until all you can see is that blaring red eye of his as he speaks.

"As i said,"

You feel yourself wanting to let go.

"Don't worry about it."

He lets you go of your trance, leaving you teary eyed as he smiles softly, brows furrowing in a sort of mocking empathetic way. His eyes drip with affection you find.

"Now, grab that coffee, okay?" He finishes, placing a cold kiss against your forehead before letting go of your chin, leaving yourself to gather your bearings.

It's not often you feel the want to defy someone. But as you stand from the floor, dusting off your skirt and walking to the elevator; you feel that need to be defiant. You'd figure out where Valentino is. He has to be somewhere in the building, right? You just have to find.. him..

In these hundreds and hundreds of doors. You would have to find him. And you can't take so long, otherwise Vox may suspect something.

You'd find someone to tell you where he is, you'd find him, and you'd stop worrying if Vox is going to do something drastic because he hasn't lied to you. Simple as that, simple as that. Right?

As it just so happens, as you begin walking through the studio halls you find yourself bumping into a spider individual, of whom you remember being a popular porn star.

So with an anxious breath you asked him. He explained that Valentino was in studio B-40, but he doesn't recommend finding him. And once again you go against someone's wishes. Plus, you were just going to stick your head in the door. It's nothing to worry about.

So what are you so anxious when you find yourself getting closer to the door? Why does your throat feel so tight? Why do you want to run in the other direction? Why does every step feel so heavy?

Taking another small step to the door, you wonder if you should listen to your conscious. It's supposed to do you good , right?

No, that's baby talk.

You aren't weak. You aren't letting the people in hell get you down! You are going to open the door!

You push yourhand towards the door handle and-

"Ouch! Fuck-" You yelp, an electric shock going through your body, causing you to fall backwards onto the hard floor below. Your whole body is on fire, you can't feel your tongue. You can't feel your brain.

A hum accompanies Vox's words.

"You're not going in there." He says, leaning over you as you push yourself to your knees, pressing yourself to the wall. Your head is throbbing.

"I'll beat him to a pulp if he sees you, you know?" Vox laughs, that sickening pseudo-empathetic look covering his flat features. You feel your stomach twist, this time in an awful way, it's like he's draining you of your soul. You want to disappear.

"I don't want to be aggressive," Vox begins as he grips your face harshly, causing tears to well into your eyes. "But your fucking mine, you got that?"

"And I won't let that sleazy prick get his greedy eyes anywhere near you!"

"W-what?" You whimper, pushing his hands from his face and backing away meekly. Vox laughs to himself, red dripping from his two dimensional mouth. He humors you with that gaze of his, eating alive any part of your confidence that may still linger.

"Oh, don't you get it, my dear? You sighed the paperwork," Vox leans down so his eyes can bore into your own, his gums showing in that prideful smile of his. "You belong to me now."

You choke on air, standing to your wobbly feet.

"W-what? I don't un-"

The paperwork. The paperwork you signed to get the job. You didn't read it! You idiot. You fucking idiot! You've ruined your own life. You belong to him..

To Vox.

"You- Shit-!" You turn around on your heels, almost slipping as you speed off into the hallway. You hear his voice echo in your ears.

"You can't run. Hell, you can't hide either!"

This was a mistake, this whole thing was a mistake. You want to die. You want to disappear. You want to get as far away from him as possible. You don't even take the elevator down, you run down every single flight of stairs jumping down a couple to save time.

The slip beneath your feet almost makes you topple over as you clutch onto the railing, swinging yourself onto the next flight of stairs. You have to be close to the bottom, right. Right? Yeah. This is fine.

And you were, right, surprisingly. You can almost see the entrance outside. You just have to make it out of this lobby. You just have to make it out of this huge fucking stupid ass lobby! You have to.

All of the sinner's eyes bore at you as you run at top speed to the door. You can't be here. You need to leave immediately. He can't find you If you're far away, right? Just go somewhere without a camera.. it'll be fine.. everything will be fine.

You're so close! Just a few more steps, a few more heavy, headache inducing steps.

You can make it. You just have to believe in yourself, and it'll all work out. Everything will be fine. It just has to be. Hell can't be this cruel, can it?

You're so close to the door you can smell the outside world, hear the cars as they pass, hear the charter hear the-

You choke and fall.onto the ground, a heaviness around your neck and wrists. It buzzes against your skin, making you go light headed. You can barely see it, but it's there. There are handcuffs around your wrists. And a collar around your neck. All of which glowing and buzzing with that electric blue of Vox.

He is right.

You can't run, you can't hide, you can't do anything.

He owns you, he has you. You can't do anything.

You made a mistake.

Maybe hell really is this cruel.

Keeping you forever tethered to this man.

Who knew one mistake would ruin the rest of your eternity.

Serves you right for being so naive.

"Alright now, are we done with our tantrum?" Vox asks.

"Yes mister Vox." You say.

[saintsenara]

what are some of the most deranged ships you have seen shipped? rod/percy included!

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i have a fair few rare-pair rec lists in the drafts - which this reminds me to get on and finish! - and so if any of the anons who sent those asks in are reading this, i promise i'm not ignoring you!

but i'm going to take this question rocketing away on a slight tangent...

and tell you all off [with great affection!] for the fact that your immaculate commitment to the unhinged and deranged ships series has forced me - completely against my will - to add the following pairings to my works-in-progress folder, where they join plenty of other nonsense including - of course - rodolphus lestrange/percy weasley:

ludo bagman/barty crouch sr.

which exploded into my consciousness via an ask from @spectral-kitty here and which allows me to indulge both my unwarranted affection for crouch sr. and my absolute conviction that bagman was a genuine death eater.

the basilisk/nagini

the answer for this one is in the queue - if you were the anon who sent this in, you should know that i took it far too seriously and legitimately got a bit teary-eyed. slay.

sirius black/minerva mcgonagall

which i've outlined the rationale for here. if you were the anon who sent this in, please be aware that i am now sick with obsessive longing for it as a pairing.

petunia dursley/rita skeeter

which i ended up considering the viability of - and also ranting about jkr's way of writing female characters - far, far too seriously here.

argus filch/merope gaunt

the answer for this is also coming up in the queue - but it's important that you know, if you were the anon who sent it in, that i have taken it spectacularly seriously and i genuinely have a 20k word fic taking aim at the failures of the wizarding state outlined.

fenrir greyback/severus snape

another one in the queue which has blown my mind.

bertha jorkins/petunia dursley's friend yvonne

which i am primarily doing because @whinlatter - who sent in the original prompt for byvonne [hot ship name!] - gets more and more panicked every time i write her a gift [her first one is here, and she's also getting a molly-weasley-is-the-person-with-the-diary and a bit of severus snape/andromeda tonks in the near future...] that she's going to have to offer up some reciprocal tomarry.

narcissa malfoy/firenze

which i've given the basic outline of a fic for here - and which i literally cannot stop thinking about.

severus snape/myrtle warren

if you liked bookbinding... you'll love this!

nymphadora tonks/lord voldemort

i was already locked-and-loaded with a stonks wip... but now i am also completely fucking obsessed with the concept of vonks.

[and if you are the person who sent in any of these pairings anonymously, and if you have an account on ao3... reveal yourself! i'd like to give the fic you inspired to you as a present when it's done.]

[fumifooms]

Hi I adored your chilchuck/marcille fanfic, "grind me down sweetly", that was so lovely!! i ate it up with like no hesitation! i was wondering if you were considering writing more of them? thank you so much for all your work and thank you for sharing it with us!

First of all thank you so so much!! Every nice word and kudos mean the world to me, and for rarepairs they're all the more cherished 💖 And yes anon, I absolutely do plan on making more for them! As much as I can manage, a library's worth if possible. They're my absolute Dungeon Meshi OTP and Dunmeshi’s been my obsession for like 10 months now, I'm a huge shipper & I love making fancontent and yeahh it's not stopping anytime soon. Though I am a slow writer... And I really should get around to finishing my older non-dunmeshi wips too 😫

I’ve talked about marchil fanfic prompts/wips a couple times on here, and very recently even about a sequel to Grind Me Down Sweetly actually! The fic’s a lot about having a familiar routine with someone and sort of growing used to that, to knowing someone like that and with sharing his days and his living space with someone again, about growing open to the idea that maybe just maybe he and Marcille could have something in the first place. And it’s kept pretty platonic due to that and whatnot, but I recently thought that, since the arc of him becoming more aware and open to the relationship got done in GMDS, doing a sequel where we actually see the relationship grow more romantic would be cute!! Warming up to the romantic nature of their relationship like settling down into a cozy couch. And this time rather than coffee it’ll be centered around what all the best cafes have… Cats!

Gonna summarize the concepts of some of my marchil fic wips under the cut, if you’d rather go in blind when they… Eventually get written, then you can just stop here and safely be assured that I am 100% planning on writing more for them! Oh, btw I also take prompts and requests, though I can’t promise anything.

Alright so GMDS sequel: I think in canon both Marcille and Chilchuck have a special dynamic with Izutsumi, where they care after her, not unlike Senshi but with more feelings attached. With her traveling around, I feel like every once in a while they’d talk about her, dealing with the worry and the uncertainty. Marcille is like "My fragile baby bird out into the world… She needs to at least live to be 100 years old 😭" while Chil knows how it’s like and just trusts her to be alright, like with Puckpatti. And so!! Every time she sees a stray cat while strolling out her heart pangs… There are many strays in Chilchuck’s neighborhood, and with her pushing for it they start leaving some food out for them. At one point she sees one standing out in the rain all pitifully in front of Chil’s shop and she invites it in (to Chilchuck’s despair), and from then on it’s still a stray but it has a home to go back to… Until Marcille officially adopts it. And it can showcase Marcille and Chil’s growing relationship alongside that metaphorically, where she sorta moves in and they grow more boldly affectionate, and it’s like… Domesticating love… 😌 Man didn’t want a cat, a cat daughter nor a new lover, but they took a liking to him and were stubborn about getting close to him and now there they all are. I like to say that post-canon despite Chil living alone in his shop he gets a second family of clingy asses, and this is exactly what I mean. Vibe wise I’d like it to have that cozy energy of spending a slow afternoon at a nice quiet cafe on a rainy day, but we’ll see how I manage it! It’s not the highest on my writing priorities currently though.

Other marchil fic ideas I’ve talked about are… Following them on that time pre-canon where they went to shop for a pouch together would be cute. I have a long post talking about them being sick and caring for each other would be like and that’d make a fun whump fic too. He gets sick and she dotes on him, she indulges herself and kisses him anyways, and then of course he passes it on to her right as he gets better so then it’s her turn getting taken care of hehe.

This one’s more convoluted, so either Marcille invites him to a fancy social event at the castle as her plus-one (aka emotional support) maybe already dating maybe on the verge of confessing, OR they’re already dating and then Marcille’s mom visits them and it’s very sweet and maybe marriage talks happens~, but in both cases Chilchuck is going through SO much stress. Just Chilchuck’s heart being on the absolute edge of giving out, going through the five stages of grief over the banquet not having his favorite kind of alcohol and Marcille not letting him be an ornamental plant in the corner of the room and doing the bare minimum. Or having to engage with her mom and seeming worthy of being her lover as his shit is only barely pulled together after they hurry to ready his house to host her as a guest. And I have a bunch of wips where I tackle them properly doing a confession or a proposal… I was planning on making a comic about it even. Here’s a lil taste of them talking about getting into a relationship together~

And you know what, here are some new exclusive ones I hadn’t shared yet that I’d really like to get around to making

In the meantime if you want I have a ton of analysis and headcanon posts about marchil on this blog, and fanarts here, and @fumiku is my fanfic blog with updates + for fanfic related asks (which rarely gets used rip).

I have non-marchil dunmeshi fanfics I want to prioritize too, but idk idk I’ll see what I end up getting around to… I like having a new vision to offer with each fic, so I tend to prioritize fics that take a new angle for the same ship or tackle different characters and themes, so I can see myself pushing myself to do other stuff before falling back into my marchil comfort zone.

[jesterthebestsir]

To 🎩 anon (you turned off anon and I'm not sure if that was an accident or not),

"Dear jester I loved reading all that you had said, i found it rather interesting and i feel that we have the same way of processing each event, methodically and in order ! The situations are rather chaotic, but sifting through each element has helped me tremendously to sort out everything.

I deeply thank you for sharing all that with me.

Seems i relate to you even more now, i am also very mature for my age (same as you) and have become rather burnt out with my schooling and life just in general. I was in a period of time where I had lost all sense of feeling, as i had spent years and years tied to people and in lots of emotional turmoil. He got me out of a very awful time, showed me what true love and kindness was. Never have i experienced that in my life, nor did i ever want to. But now that i have, i don't ever want to let go. Even though he is turning 20 in 8 days

At first, i was scared. Couldn't tell him about that specific factor of me. Although recently, i did, and i somehow knew that he had already known, yet was still too afraid i'd get left again. Seems like he cant leave me either but i guess thats a little fucked up hahaha im glad you realise the pros and cons with your situation and know that although you're obsessed with her, you know its for the better to be apart. I am yet to learn that hahaah !

I find solace knowing we have had similar experiences, although how unfortunate they are, we will find what works for us and what helps us get better. I hope you dont mind my little rambling haha I love your posts tremendously and i am glad you are doing better!

i guess i should make an anon hmmm :3

-🎩 anon"

TL;DR: Find a way to wean off him

My situation seems to be somewhat different than yours as you're still in contact with him and know much more about him than I do about her, I'm not sure how deep your obsession is with him but I'll give you some things that'll at least help you wean off him:

Highlight his flaws:

For me, my obsession centered around entitlement and objectification; she was only a girl meant to help ME through MY problems and give ME comfort. Any time it seemed like I was doing something for her, it just so happened that my attempt of self-gratification just so happens to benefit her (EX: I want to kidnap you because I don't see you as your person, but something to be owned). The more I took the time to look at how she looked, her misspellings, and her overall demeanor, I stopped seeing her as a concept meant to please me and more as a person, a person I didn't want to date.

Consider your personality:

As I grew up and started to become my own person, I realized that my personality didn't mesh as well with hers; I was easily distracted, easily annoyed, mentally unstable, emotionally dependant, but physically distant, and hypersexual. That didn't go well with how naive, childish, and go with the flow she could be and that didn't sit right with me. What if I yell at her?! What if she's uncomfortable with my advances, how would I react? What if I become too dependant on her?! Would that annoy her?! Write about him:

I didn't write about her too much, but it did help me realize how truly fucked up our one-sided "relationship" was looking back (even just a day later) at my writings that were begging myself to let go of her really made me break those rose colored glasses

Hang out with friends more:

I know it's insanely cliche, but hear me out!

As I hung out with my friend more and talked to her less, I found myself becoming slightly more dependant on them as they were healthier to be around and can keep me from doing stupid stuff like contacting her again.

Indulge in fiction:

Around 2020, I found myself getting deep into a series (that I still love to this day) that kept my attention and slowly took over my brain, almost replacing my affection for her. I found so many characters that acted just like her and a lot of them annoyed me, which I think solidified my first point of only like her as a concept and not a person.

Consider the future:

Ask yourself: a couple years from now, when you're 18 (assuming you're a minor, but if not just imagine yourself older), do you see yourself with him?

Showing him off to your parents?

Doing mundane tasks non-romantic tasks like doing laundry?

What would being with him look like?

Do you want to get married to him? Have kids? Grow old?

How romanized is your future with him? When you look at your future with him do you see an ideal person, an almost god-like being with zero flaws or do you see him?

My answer to half of these questions was,"God no"

Like I said before, I don't know much about your situation; how long you've known him, how long you've talked to him, ect ect. so these might not be helpful, but I, at the very least, want you to distance yourself from him a bit, especially if the age gap is as bad as mine (16/21).

[louisisalarrie]

Louis doesn’t put f in the spotlight at all, you are just obsessed. No one has ever been forced to have a fake kid and your ‚proofs‘ are laughable at best. The people you call antis are literally just normal people who respect boundaries and don’t get jealous over the fact that their fav is with a woman.

I’m feeling generous tonight so I’ll indulge this, instead of just replying with a meme.

1. Why would he not take a paternity test when 70% of his fandom don’t think it’s real? Wouldn’t he want to show that F is his son and dispel these rumours? Here is a list of celebs who’ve taken paternity tests in the past, and also a quick google really helps you to know what you’re talking about! I’d recommend that in the future, babe. Also, we’re in a fandom where the closeting has been more extreme than ever. Larry has been the most talked about theory in pop culture probably more than anyone. This is different to Freddie Mercury and Elton John. We’re in a different age. If you don’t understand demographics and PR and how to make money off a young boyband, I think it’s worth doing some research. I work in the music industry baby, have a squiz at all the baby gate resources very readily available at your fingertips.

2. Antis respect boundaries?? I would loooove a longer explanation on this, because reposting and reblogging and sharing photos of a minor and having fan accounts for him don’t scream boundaries to me. I get death threats, arguments, anons hating on me EVERY DAY and I don’t do that to any antis. I’m just out here living my life and believing what I believe in. I am being extremely kind to you even though I don’t believe in what you do, so, keep that in mind.

3. Louis isn’t with a woman?? He’s not “dating” anyone in the public eye babe. They’re apparently just besties who coparent after knowing each other for like a day. It was a “one night stand” and the paparazzi very luckily caught that photo of them, the one time they went out, which was used in articles for yonks as the “conception” photo. Which, mind you, doesn’t add up to the timeline. But that’s fine babe. Louis doesn’t care, he sleeps with every woman and won’t take a paternity test even though he is a millionaire celeb and, according to the media, slept with a non famous chick and had a baby. Doesn’t that seem a little suss to you? If he cared about that kid, if he WAS his kid, he’d keep him out of the spotlight, or prove it by a paternity test because AGAIN, a huuuuuge majority of his fan base are larries.

If I was in his position, I’d prove to my fans he’s my kid, because he’s “my little lad” and I don’t want anyone hating on him. I’d keep him out of the spotlight. We’ve been shown how private Louis and Harry can be, just by the fact they have been entirely MIA for the past 3ish weeks, and Harry is arguably the biggest pop star on the planet. Just take a second and do some research. Google is free xx

If you have any productive questions, hit me up again. More than happy to point you to some resources.

Thanks!

[ferryboatpeak]

Please please please write the loop hazoff fic, the outline alone was amazing!

anon! can i rap atcha for a bit? because i got the last half of this fic so, so wrong! please accept the following revisions. (thank you to @ticklefightharry​ for putting up with my immediate rescission of the last plot summary and the three subsequent alternate versions.)

so remember the scene where harry falls asleep in Jeff’s old room? i realized that’s got to be way more pivotal. I think Harry has to have reached a point where he’s been pretty upfront with Jeff about being in a Loop– like, starting their days with a recap of “hey, I’m in a Loop, here’s what we’ve been talking about…” (which is a huge relief for Jeff because he doesn’t have to focus so much on pretending to start from scratch every day.) And at this point they’ve pretty much got their plans hashed out, and Harry’s feeling pretty good about it. Maybe he hasn’t found his soulmate yet, but for the first time ever he’s thinking clearly about what happens after 1D, and realizing that there are good people who can be in his corner.

So that morning he shows up at Jeff’s office per usual, and maybe instead of their typical brainstorming/strategy sessions Harry convinces Jeff to take him to lunch, show him a bit of LA? And Jeff takes him somewhere personal and endearing (help me out, LA people, I honestly have no idea what could be personal and endearing in LA). Maybe for lunch Harry’s expecting someplace trendy (the kind of places he associates with LA, the kind of places industry people usually take him to impress), and instead Jeff takes him to the Apple Pan, tells him about how his parents used to go there when they were dating.

Soooooooo, I think Glenne is in this verse. I think that she and Jeff know they aren’t soulmates but they’ve got a fulfilling partnership anyway. They’ve always kind of known that things would have to end if one of them went into a Loop, but they’ve never actually talked about how to do that gracefully. So when Jeff gets into the Loop with Harry, he’s waking up every morning with Glenne, and he can’t just break up with her, because he needs her at the party every night or else Harry’s going to catch on that Jeff’s only pretending that every day’s the same to him. Glenne’s presence in Jeff’s life is one of the main reasons that Harry doesn’t consider the possibility that Jeff could be his soulmate.

Anyway, so Harry tags along with Jeff when Jeff goes home to change before the party, and at Jeff’s house he sees some kind of casual, comfortable domestic exchange between Jeff and Glenne, and he reacts Very Badly without understanding why. So he’s a little out of sorts when he arrives at the party (with them, instead of with his usual escort from the label), and he’s got to put more effort than usual into being utterly charming, and all of a sudden he’s just so, so tired.

He hasn’t fallen asleep in weeks, he realizes. He’s slept, or at least he’s woken up refreshed, but he hasn’t actually lay down in bed and fallen asleep. He’s just reset at midnight, and woken up to start the same day all over again. Suddenly going to sleep sounds like the best thing, the greatest idea.

And Jeff notices. He asks if Harry’s okay, and Harry says he’s just tired, and make some excuse about jet lag, and Jeff says that Harry can use his old bedroom, if he wants to nap it out. He tries to tell Harry where it is, and Harry blinks slowly and looks puzzled, so Jeff says he’ll take him up there.

The noise of the party fades away behind them as Jeff walks him up the back stairway. Jeff moved out of his parent’s house years ago, but they’ve got plenty of space, so there’s been no hurry to repurpose his bedroom into a home gym or a guest room or whatever. It’s just slowly evolving from Jeff’s space into an impersonal space, and Harry hones right in on the few personal details that are left. A soccer trophy? High school yearbooks on the bookshelf? A flyer from one of Jeff’s best prom afterparties? Jeff is endearingly embarrassed, and Harry gives him a break and collapses on the bed and burrows under the duvet.

He catches Jeff by the wrist as he’s about to leave, and tugs him down onto the bed with him. Stay for a bit, Harry says, and Jeff is already committed to doing anything Harry wants for the rest of eternity, so he awkwardly settles in on top of the duvet and lets Harry snuggle up next to him. Harry’s not exactly touch-starved (having had plenty of sex during this Loop), but he is definitely feeling the absence of meaningful touch, what with all of his closest confidantes inaccessible in London and everyone in LA resetting every morning so they’ve got no idea what Harry’s going through. And it’s so nice to be curled up with his head on Jeff’s shoulder, and even though he’s been starting fresh with Jeff every day, Jeff seems to understand him. He’s not Harry’s soulmate, but he’s Harry’s people, at least. With a faint sleepy lisp, Harry tells Jeff’s shoulder, “I’ll find you. When all this is over.”

Jeff goes absolutely still. “You mean that?” he asks into the dark.

“Yeah,” Harry murmurs. “Of course I do.”

Jeff’s hand is gentle on the side of Harry’s face as he tips his chin up into a quiet kiss. This is exactly the kind of little intimacy that Harry’s been missing, and it’s no big deal because Jeff’s not his soulmate, right? In a different world this could affect the working relationship they’ll have someday, but tomorrow’s going to be another Loop and Jeff will never remember this happened. So Harry gratefully lets himself be kissed to sleep, and drifts off happy in Jeff’s old bed.

EXCEPT next morning they wake up right there and all hell breaks loose. Harry’s horrified that Jeff didn’t tell him, and he’s mad that Jeff didn’t give him any say in ending the Loop, and furthermore he even ended it on a night that wasn’t Harry’s best showing at the party (even though Jeff tells him that doesn’t matter, none of it’s going to interfere with their plans, right?), and he storms out of the house and back to London and throws himself into the WWA tour because fuck Jeffrey Azoff.

But he can’t just go back! Because now he’s started to think concretely about life after 1D, and he can’t just go back to living in the moment and thinking that the ride is going to last forever. Now it’s obvious to him that it can’t, and now that he’s got some idea of what happens next, it’s hard to give up that vision, even if that vision is inextricably intertwined with Jeff. (you know where this is going, right? this means i finally get to write the hiatus meeting scene i’ve been dying to write ever since louis started spilling the tea two and a half years ago!!!)

So Harry’s got a whole long tour to sulk and suffer (in between being adored by entire stadiums.) Jeff maybe tries to reach out early on and Harry rebuffs him, maybe even does it in a very impersonal and insulting way, like having someone from Modest tell Jeff to back off, Harry’s not interested in working with him.

Is there some narry angst here, perhaps? Is niall well aware that harry met up with the azoffs in LA and feeling some suspicion and resentment around that? ANYWAY, Harry also has a whole tour to hook up with anyone and everyone (niall?) and through that process start to work through the idea of Jeff as his soulmate. Not that it matters, Harry tells himself, because Jeff obviously doesn’t have romantic kind of soulmate feelings about him, but if he did, maybe Harry could see himself getting there too?

After a good six months of suffering, the tour eventually reaches the Rose Bowl. Jeffrey Azoff can sure as shit get himself backstage at the Rose Bowl, and he has a Plan for what happens next. But he stumbles through his carefully considered apology/sales pitch, because Harry’s impassive and it only seems to be making things worse, until he completely by accident says something painfully earnest about his Feelings (this bit is all jes, please thank her) and Harry fucking melts. That’s it, that’s the fic!

[mightbewriting]

hi friend! whats your favorite story that you wrote (fic or original)? do you have a favorite scene or chapter you wrote, that you always go back to read again to just be proud of yourself? what do you like the most about your favorite work? (if you are wondering, yes I felt that was necessary because you are the only one always complaining about your writing, when I love everything you do, so please dont be so self critical amanda, we adore you🥺)

well hello there, astonishingly kind anon. you are far too kind and, yes, i am far too self critical. so i purposefully saved this ask to tackle today. i was traveling this weekend and now that i'm settled back home and ready to sit down and write lots and lots and lots of words, i thought engaging in some positivity would be a good way to begin my week!

so lets do this!

my favorite story? i have a really soft spot for a sci fi novel i wrote a few years ago. is it my best work? definitely not. my best idea? maybe. and it was the first thing i ever pulled all the way together and tried querying, though halfheartedly, and i have visions of maybe rewriting it one day and giving it a real shot. for fic its probably well said, hermione atm. im really proud of how that weirdo little story came together from what was nearly a crack fic concept into something that weirdly worked. plus it was a fun tense and pov to work with, and i felt like the story construction itself worked out nicely.

do i have a scene/chapter i go back and reread? very, very rarely. i dont normally love rereading my own work because my craft obsessive brain will not stop trying to rephrase things. so i can truthfully say ive only reread any of my own writing for fun TWICE. the first time was a reread of picked and planted month and months and months after posting it and i was delighted to find that i enjoyed myself! and the other is with the epilogue of sight and seeing. to this day that chapter remains one of my best conclusions to a story AND the memory of the 'AHA!' i had while writing it is very indulgent to revisit. when i want to remember that writing can be magic i'll reread that chapter.

what do i like most about my favorite work? i feel like i mostly covered this with the first question, but i'll elaborate that any finished work is in the running as a favorite lol. i love finishing a story, having a finished product, a thing that i made. so that's really what i like most about any of them: seeing how all the little pieces, how all the words become sentences become scenes become chapters become a story. that's a really cool feeling, looking at the finished product and knowing everything that makes it complete.

thank you so much anon for giving me this outstanding excuse to put myself in a gentle mindset when i tackle my writing today! its very easy for me to be hard on myself, so i shall endeavor to be kinder today! <3

[infographicisminetocommand]

You’re REWRITING trollhunters??? The disrespect,oh my god. Newsflash,asshole,these aren’t your characters,this isn’t your story,and if you feel the need to rewrite a show it means that you don’t like it enough to enjoy it on its own. So what are you still doing in this fandom? Go watch steven universe and join the su criticals bc you’ve officially reached their horrendous levels of arragonce and disrespect.

"Join the SU Criticals" is the best thing I have heard all day, holy shit. And it's my first (actually, second, I believe?) anon hate! Thank you! (I am being legitimately genuine here. I have no time for sarcasm unless it's funny.)

Anon, I understand your point of view. Honestly, I'm terrified the creators will see me doing my fan rewrite and get deeply hurt, because I've already done that in the past with my (crappy and deeply unwarranted) salt.

But it's important to know that my fan-rewrite is not an act of hate or exaggerated criticism. Rather, it's an act of self-indulgence and to an extent, love - it's basically fanfiction! And besides, not every show is perfect, and I apologize if that offends you. It's also important to know that if it does, it may indicate you've become too personally attached to media to the point that every slight criticism is an insult towards your person, and you should start doing a self-review. Trust me, when I let myself get stuck on the other end of the extreme - which, embarassingly, could be construed as me beginning to parallel SU Criticals - I ended up hurting the people around me by the overwhelming aura of my negativity. I was obsessed, and I had to take a step back to figure out what went wrong.

And I get it, it really does seem like it's an attack on the show, and the hard work the creators put into it. But as I've said, this is basically fanficfion. And it's a non-profit self-indulgence that I have no intentions of bringing to the mainstream (unless Dreamworks suddenly contacts me about stuff or something, but I'm a minor so that is unlikely to happen). So if the creators end up stumbling into my work and don't like it, hey, they're free to block me! Enjoy the parts of their fandom they wish to enjoy - and so do you. If the ethical implications of a fanrewrite bother you, click the block button and leave my blog. I don't want to spend my time being sent anon hate, and I don't want others to spend their time doing that and fall into the trap I fell in.

Also, I'm still very much fond of the main show. Season 1B remains one of my favorite seasons for a good reason.

And I do know someone who doesn't like seeing any form of Trollhunters criticism or seeing any of their NOTPs (specifically Warstaff, and honestly, who can blame her). She's valid! If that's the fandom experience she wants, then that's what she'll get.

Though, I do ask that you do some self-reflection, at the very least, and open yourself to the concept of fanrewrites by looking into the arguments of the positive. I don't want to live with myself knowing someone out there is going to get hot and bothered by something I'm doing for my own indulgency sake.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[my-sherlock221b]

Speak the Truth--not mine, sharing from the link

https://speakthetruthj2.weebly.com/intro--start-here.html

"What we’ll do for each other, how far we’ll go, they’re using that against us"Everything from this site has been taken from the wonderful Speak The Truth on Storify-- HERE

Do you know your J2 history? The story of Jensen and Jared is an epic one. It is at first deceptively simple. But with a wider view, this seemingly small story tells a much larger, more universal one. In that way, it's also an important one. It's one that spans a time of unique change in American culture as social media tools grew, TV became King, fandom ways were integrated into public lexicon, HW powerhouses rose and fell, and a new hope for true equality in Obama's America supplanted the country's long history of intolerance. It's one that showcases how the role of PR can build over time to consume all levels of actors lives, even two guys who first set out to avoid exactly that. It's one that reveals the widening sphere of PR with the advent of social media, celeb blogs, and online fandoms. Fans are no longer immune to being used by PR as tools in the role of creating an illusion and selling an image. Only together in one place do cracks in the veneer and patterns of PR tactics suddenly emerge as the larger picture focuses into sharp view. It's also a story that I hope one day can be told in full by the people who lived it instead of mere spectators who watched from the cheaper seats and speculated from afar. However, human interest pieces begin with a subject. So here it is. I've been a fan of this show for eight long years. As someone with a "librarian mind", I have saved and documented a lot throughout that time, as have others who have helped me along the way. Supernatural, the TV series, I believe, speaks for itself. 160+ episodes have been produced, aired, and immortalized on DVD. However the larger story that encompasses the show, the actors, the crew, the fans, the HW machine, and the subject of its time, remains hidden if not completely erased from documented fan history. Yet it is one that has enraptured many (even those who won't quite publicly admit it). I believe that counts for something. In other fandoms, I am indebted to other fans who came before me who archived events as they occurred for other fans like myself who came along later. As I leave Supernatural fandom for good, I worry that these details, as we observed them, may be lost. There will be other fans, of the show and of the Js, that will come after me. They should know how it went down all those years ago. This here is merely my small act of scrawling on the cave wall of the internet. As far as I know, there exists no complete record of what a J2 fan has experienced in all the years of the show. So what follows is a timeline summarizing the events of all eight years of Supernatural surrounding its two lead co-stars. It's meant to serve as an J2 archive or library, detailing each event with a date, info, pics, tweets, article, links, videos, and quotes. Most of the focus is on J2 and the players around them, but it will cover show changes and larger HW shakeups in later years as it becomes necessary. If a tiny splash of "Time Capsule" feel snuck in, it's because we all have our experiences and sometimes they feel worth telling. There has been an incredible erasure of fan/show history the last couple years, an act that is rather ironic in a fandom built on the concept of urban legends coming to life. In its wake are attempts to rewrite J2 history. There are some people that have worked very hard to make sure this story is as inaccessible as possible to others. They'd rather see it replaced by their own "revisionist" history that best serves their own interests. But this stuff happened. Records of it are out there. Fans experienced it. And in many cases, J2 or other people directly connected to them responded to it. Denying said part of J2 fan history is disingenuous. Believe what you want to believe in the space between, but events that happened have happened. I know some people will not be happy I have put this together. I struggled with the thought myself. Ultimately, I believe their story in between the lines and cracks of this cobbled together timeline is endlessly iconic. It's a story that shouldn't be lost in the dust of internet time. Because its not just them, even though their unique relationship is quite remarkable. It's that their story has something to tell us all. We all have something to learn in the space in between. You read through the cracks of eight years, follow along detail by detail, and it however small allows you to step in their shoes, no matter who you are, or what you originally thought. Just think, how scared does someone have to be, how many pressures must be put on someone from all angles, your advisers, your bosses, your family, your friends, to agree to these measures over time. When an erasure of a genuine human story happens, we all lose. We, ourselves, as a culture lose. Progress loses. (And what are we here for, if not for progress?) That erasure robs us of that example to learn and grow, improve and teach others. Because no one's life is just their own. We all have a part to play in each others' lives. We all have things we can teach and things we can learn. That's never been more true than the global age of the internet. Thus, as someone who has been in a unique position to watch a lot of these events unfold, I couldn't leave fandom in good conscience without leaving this footprint. They say history is written by the winners. Well, that was before the internet. So fair warning, I will use spn_g links in later years. It is impossible to do an exhaustive archive of J2 without it. Like it or not, it's part of J2 fan history and quite an archival resource when so many LJ links have since been deleted. Careful consideration has been given to the source. Priority is given to the most reliable information. Events (e.g. things we've seen with our own eyes pics, videos, quotes, tweets, etc) are all primary, and denoted by a header font and date. All anon ITK ("In-The-Know") info is considered secondary, and only becomes more or less probable depending on how it fits in with the overall timeline. Thus, some events with "more probable" secondhand information, are noted as an addendum by the phrase, "*rumorhasit:". Unsubstantiated gossip has been left out. This archive is done with the utmost respect for both parties. In a way, it is only in the details that the more real human context emerges. This is something lost in the day-to-day celeb gossip and fandom life. It's easier to make snap judgments about an image than about a fully fleshed out person. My hope is that in seeing the totality of their story, readers can find some form of compassion for the subjects at hand. I've taken great pains to make sure that the record that follows is all of public events only. If they've been released on the internet in a public place, and talked about by fans, they are included here. I've written this in a way that I hope can be a resource for all, both for J2 fans who lived it and those who have yet to make sense of the whole story. In the act of putting this together, even I have learned details that I had forgotten or missed. It's almost a decade of details, it's a lot to keep straight, but I hope that in this timeline format, the clearer picture emerges. If it's the first time you're reading this, just take it in stride. But if you're a fan who lived all of this once already, pay special attention to the timing of events and larger patterns. Watch how appearances and big personal news tend to go together with big professional news like movie casting and season renewals. Notice how players like publicists and managers fit into the story along side girlfriends and fiancees and wives. This is how this industry functions, even with a fledgling show on a netlet. It's in this industry that two guys who initially claimed privacy start indulging fans with stories of their personal life. It's in this climate that a TV show built on two actors' chemistry suddenly tampers said chemistry down to nothing in the middle of its seventh season. There are many threads that pop up here, partly why this story is such an important one. Some things are rarely as they appeared at first glance. Other things are exactly how they appeared at first glance. Decide on your own which ones are which. One can look at this as an archive with two distinct parts. The first four years are more a tribute to the little glimpse we got of two guys with an instant bond that captured us all. The next four years are more a testament to how despite an actor's best intentions, HW can still grab you by the shirt collar and suck you dry. Never forget where the real power of any show lies. Not with the people whose creative work you watch every week. It's those at the top. And they are not as "tolerant" or "liberal" as people might like you to believe. The story of J2 is an epic one, but that's not the only reason why it's important. They're also not the first or last to deal with these extreme machinations. As we proceed into 2013, we are reminded over and over again how much our culture has changed since 2005. Since 2008. Even since 2011. How much longer will it take for HW to catch up with the rest of us? I'm indebted to all the fans who helped me in amassing this record, adding their contributions, holding my hand, listening to my complaints, and overall sharing in the J2/Supernatural obsession for good times and bad. This has been simultaneously the easiest and hardest show to be a fan of. But it would have been impossible to follow for eight years if not for the community of amazing people that I shared it with. Some of them may not understand this, many of them will probably not even read this, but I hope that they still know my thanks and appreciation. Schmaultz aside, we've got 8 years of history to get to! So without further ado!

[flying-elliska]

salut ellie! someone once asked you about your writing and you recommended falling in love with language and finding ways of writing you love. i was wondering, what books and/or writing styles are you in love with? it's just so interesting to know what somehow had an impact on the way you're writing bc i honestly adore your style

wow do you remember that ? that is such a flattering question oh my god. well, i’m still working on it. some of my favorites are (i’m very eclectic lmao) : 

- His Dark Materials (it’s a fantasy book series ‘for kids’ but it’s actually insanely deep and philosophic) is pretty much the first book series that made me fall in love with stories, and made me want to write. I think I found it when I was 10, and it completely shaped me. It’s so ambitious and clever, it never talks down to the reader, brings up those amazing worlds and philosophical concepts and is still accessible to kids. Most of all it is so committed to atmosphere, to making it vivid, to really make you go through what the characters are. I’m thinking of it and I can remember exactly certain passages in an almost sensory way : the witch Serafina Pekkala describing what it feels like to feel the Aurora Borealis on her bare skin as she is flying through the arctic. The polar bear Iorek giving Lyra frozen moss to help bandage his wounds after a battle. The grilled poppy heads that the Jordan College scholars at Oxford eat during a meeting. The little Gallivespians on their dragonflies and the way the sun reflects off their poisonous spurs. That’s how you make a story stick ; that’s how you can put in deep stuff without ever making it boring. I am so excited they’re making a tv series because that shit deserves some recognition. And I mean the whole plot about the importance of stories, free will, the horror of religious fundamentalism....always relevant. Philip Pullman’s stuff is great in general, I love his Sally Lockhart series, which is more adult and adventure focused, and is a great deal of fun. And of course, the sequel to HDM he’s been putting out recently. 

- I spent a lot of my teen years reading either crime novels or historical novels. (When I think of some of the stuff I read when I was 13 I’m like oh my god what were my parents doing lmao some of that was really horrible.) And I think it gave me a good feeling for suspense and setting, and how important tension is. One of my all time faves is Andrea Japp. She is a French writer who does mostly crime, involving complex/monstrous woman characters and a very sensory, poetic approach to language, often involving food, plants and poisons. My favorite by her is the “Season of the Beast”/Agnès de Souarcy chronicles, which is a crime series set in medieval times, with a cool independent lady at its core, crimes in a monastery, and this very gloomy end of times vibe that I love. I also read a lot of Scandi Noir stuff, I love the kind of ...laconic approach to life. And again : vibe. Vibe is so important. And Sherlock Holmes stories. I love the Mary Russell series that take place in that universe and are basically a big Mary Sue self insert guilty pleasure but are just. So much fun. 

- I like poetry a lot - not stuff that is too wordy, but something short, sharp and vivid. i think reading poetry is essential to feeding your inner ‘metaphor culture’. I love Mary Oliver. Rimbaud, too, that I read at 17 and rocked my world. One of my underrated faves is  Hồ Xuân Hương, a Vietnamese poet from the 18th century who was adept at using nature metaphors to hide both erotic stuff, irreverent jokes, and political criticism, and correspond with all the great scholars of her time under a pseudonym. Badass.  Recently I bought ‘Soft Science’ by Franny Choi, which is about cyborgs, having a female body, emotions and politics and it’s absolutely brilliant. 

- I love reading fairy tales, too. Currently reading (i always read a lot of books at once lol) Angela Carter’s Book of Fairy Tales, basically fairy tales for grown ups, collected from folklore all over the world, with an amazing kind of gruesome humor and wisdom. Norse mythology is also so damn funny. That one bit with Thor dressing up as a bride or Loki’s shenanigans...amazing. And I like fantasy, I find it very soothing to read for some reason, my fave has to be Robin Hobb and her Realm of the Elderlings series. And Terry Pratchett, especially the series with Death or the Witches. Just brilliant. Neil Gaiman too. 

- I tend to be very impatient when it comes to literary fiction, I find a lot of it is self-indulgent, dreary. I’m a genre reader through and through, I need to be amazed. I loved ‘the Elegance of the Hedgehog’ by Muriel Barbery though. Some stuff by Amélie Nothomb, Virginie Despentes occasionally (they’re French writers with a very dark, wry approach to life, tho the first is more polished acid and the second very punk rock). And ‘Special Topics in Calamity Physics’ by Marisha Pessl is pretentious as hell but a lot of fun, if you like dark academia. Salman Rushdie has a way with language that is amazing. 

- I read a lot of non-fiction. At the moment : the Cabaret of Plants (about the symbolic/socio historical meaning of plants and how they shaped history) by Richard Mabey and ‘Feminist Fight Club’ by Jessica Bennett. One I absolutely love is ‘the Botany of Desire’ by Michael Pollan in which he traces the history of four plant species (apple, potato, cannabis, tulip) and how they impacted us as much as we impacted them. I was obsessed with plants for most of my life as you can see lol (my mother is a herbalist and I wanted to become a botanist for quite a while.). Also philosophy/anthropology in little bits. I love Tim Ingold. Things about witches. Anything by Rebecca Solnit is incredible. 

- I’ve been reading a lot of YA recently, because it’s fun and quick and keeps me reading, and has a lot of good female characters. Big fave recently : Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore. It’s about a young bisexual woman who’s grieving and comes to this weird house full of doors, each of which leads to a different path in life, and we follow her through each choice she can potentially make, each of one becomes a different genre of story : creepy ghost story, spy story, sci-fi, cute romance, etc. It’s so innovative and it’s a story that is also bisexual culture at its core. Also I absolutely love love love love love (etc forever) the Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater. What she does with language is just so cool, because she stays simple and efficient but uses her metaphors in such a fulgurant, vivid way. Some of her lines are just. bam! genius. #goals. Also Ronan Lynch is probably THE character that helped me the most with my coming out. He’s one of my forever faves.  Of course Harry Potter, lmao, I was of the generation that pretty much grew up with him, the last book came out when I was 17. JK Rowling really should just stop rn. But I learned so much from those, about the importance of making your story feel like home, and having a clear emotional journey. And Harry is such a sarcastic little shit, I love him. And I love a Series of Unfortunate Events too, the darkly funny tone of it, the celebration of knowledge and resilience. 

- I think in terms of the classics (I had to read in school lmao), I do like Victor Hugo a lot even though some of his stuff just doesn’t fucking stop. I also like Balzac and his Comédie Humaine, he’s very observant, mean and funny when it comes to people (even though it’s depressing.) Colette is my grandma’s fave writer and she is a rockstar, I love her (also hella bi culture). Jane Austen is great, I read Pride and Prejudice in one night straight, I was so hooked. Love Jane Eyre too. I read On the Road by Jack Kerouac while hopped up on opioid pain killers and that’s probably the only way to appreciate it, but it did mark me.  

- But to be completely fucking candid, I probably read the most fanfic nowadays still. Esp since I got to college, I need to unwind when I read, and having characters you already know can be so comforting. Now, of course, there’s a lot of fanfic that is just fluff (nothing wrong with that) but I honestly really believe in the literary value of fanfic. Because some of that shit simply just really slaps and is well written. But also as a genre on its own : you just simply don’t get so much emotional nuance, and depth in most other things. Because these are characters we already know and the writers are not afraid to be self-indulgent and plot is secondary, we see shades of things that we never see anywhere else, we see relationships developping in the small things and wow that shit is breathtaking, bro, sometimes. The art of infinite variation on a theme. Even though a lot of fic writers could use a bit of stricter editing, and do stuff a bit too many unnecessary details in here, so does Victor Hugo soooooooo....

lol i could go on forever. i love book soooo much. uni kinda killed my reading appetite, I used to read several books a week when I was in middle school. hope i can get back there (although maybe not as much bc i have a life now lol.) but thinking about everything i have yet to read makes me sooooo happy. I want to get more into sci-fi, English lit classics. Basically I like stuff that’s witty, dark, political, hedonistic, with dry humor, but a warm heart. Stories that celebrate knowledge, curiosity and human weirdness. And that gets to the point. When I get bored by a book, I put it down, because I just don’t have the time. I also hate writers where you can tell that they think they’re better than other people. Misanthropy is boring. Thank you for this question anon I had a blast

[naiive-and-starry-eyed]

4, 12, 22, 27, 35, 39, 46, & 79 for the fanfic writing ask game? -💙

Wow thank you so much anon!! <3 These were so fun to answer!!

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

Usually whatever fandom/media that I'm obsessing over at any given time is what inspires me to write something, whether that's based on a character I like, a scene I wish was done better, or a complete AU where I throw characters I like in a whole new situation. A favorite fic that's close to my heart is where I take Isaac from Children of the Corn and invent a whole backstory for him that has very little canon basis simply because he's my blorbo and I like that he runs a cult and kills people. I haven't updated the fic in question in a hot minute but I have a bunch of notes for it and I swear I'll get back to it one day lmao

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

I do!! My outlines aren't really 'professional', they're mostly be rambling in writing form and saying what I think should happen, superseded by inside jokes to myself which I'm entertained to read later, and then slapped on a google doc. I take pieces of my outline and expand on them when I write, but my outline process is basically slap everything I'm thinking on the page so I have it to reference for later and then go from there! I tend to stray from them as needed as the story develops, but I do stick with them for the most part

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Oof, that's a tough one. I feel like I'm not super great with titles and I like to change them a lot as the spirit moves me. If I get inspired when writing a scene I'll pick a title, or I find a song I like and use that as title. Song titles are classics! So most of the time titles happen before the writing process, I change it when I decide that title is terrible, and then various times throughout writing as needed

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Descriptions! Ya girl loves to describe the scenery, the feelings, the vibes, everything going on around the characters. Setting the scene in any scene is my passion. Dialogue and I are not friends, but on God you'll know what's happening around the shitty words my characters speak asfkljsdflkdsj

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

I'm going to be real with you anon I'm terrible at actually finshing my wips or posting anything, but you are in luck for this question - I've posted two (2) whole fics! Between those two, the aforementioned CotC Isaac backstory 'The Book of Isaac' is very fun, but I will have to go with 'Monster in the Library' as my favorite (both found under gallifrey_falls on ao3). I love the concept, which is a Dalek goes to the Library to research and is very ambivalent to all the creatures also visiting the Library freaking out at its presence. It notes the Vashta Nerada in passing, goes 'huh, weird' and moves along. Daleks are fun and I had a good time writing it!

39. What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

*Jon Mulaney voice* Okkayyyyyy

Listen,, this is very self-indulgent and I'm very fond of it. I have not gotten very far at all but this fic is my personal meow meow and I will hope one day to finish it lmao

The premise is that a girl is living in a fucked up evil forest with her family. There are a lot of evil guys who also live in the forest, and for the most part, humans stay out of it. They live in a nearby town that borders a lake and keep to themselves except for trade via the lake and road that goes to the town. But ohohoho, trouble is afoot

Haven't decided the exact trouble, but Trouble sure comes to town and the forest and the girl needs to request the help of the resident dragon (who can shapeshift into a human because of course she can am I right). Said dragon won't help unless the girl agrees to marry her for tax purposes (girl's family has artifact/magic/something dragon wants and marriage helps her get it idk) and girl is torn up about this because she has a Friendship, Close Friendship, with another girl from the laketown who she's been hanging out with unbeknownst to her family because like the laketown people avoid the forest, likewise is true since everyone in the town thinks everyone in the forest is fucked up

Anyway, that's the concept for now, I'm just vibing and projecting cause I'm ace but I would definitely marry a dragon for tax purposes. I hope I'll be able to write more for it and come up with a comprehensible story eventually <3

46. If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Any type of magic AU or faerie AU - you can never go wrong putting magic into a setting where it isn't already, or throwing faeries into settings where they aren't already. The eviler the magic and the faeries, the better!

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

I can't say I'm a professional in any sense of the word, but honestly, my best advice is just to have fun with it!! Write what you want to write, doesn't matter if it gets tons of followers/hits/kudos or if you're the only one who ever reads it. It's fun to come up with Scenarios and write them out to see where they go. It's never bad to abandon wips either if you don't get the inspiration to continue, the important thing is just having a good time in the moment!